I am asked constantly by men who write to me "How do I please a woman orally?" or "How can I get better at oral sex?" And after reading thousands of responses to my questioners from women of all walks of life, nationalities, and ages I truly believe that in order to be the great lover you must be excellent in the art of pleasing a woman with your mouth, lips, and tongue. So this month I am going to give you step by step instructions on how to please a woman with oral sex! So without further introduction let's get started!
First things first!
It all starts with a kiss and if you are not good at kissing you won't get far enough to get her panties off of her and use your new-found oral skills. So I want to share with you the first some techniques for driving her wild with a kiss. Many women complain that after they have had sex with a man for a while or are in a relationship with a man that he does not kiss them often enough or long enough. So if you are guilty of this STOP IT NOW! And go kiss your lover as you did in the beginning. Pretend that this is your first kiss for the very first time and try to feel those same feelings all over again. Then kiss her and slowly and passionately make out with her as you used to in when you were first dating.
I can't tell you how many times I have heard a woman say that she can tell the first time a man kisses her if she is going to sleep with him or that if he knows how to kiss he will be good in bed! WOW what pressure! Your first kiss could be your last! Many women actually decide with their first kiss if they will go any further. So it stands to reason that you better polish up your kissing skills and techniques. So I am going to share with you some of the do's and don't of kissing, kind of a Kissing Technique 101!
Kissing Technique 101
Clean Teeth and Fresh Breath
First off, you absolutely must have clean teeth and fresh clean-smelling breath. You should have your teeth cleaned at least twice a year. And brush your teeth every morning and evening and after every meal if possible. Drink a lot of water rather than soft drinks (for general health and for healthy teeth), coffee can stain your teeth and leave bad breath. Also if you are on a date and you go to dinner, after you eat go to the restroom and clean your teeth and make sure you don't have any food stuck in your teeth. The natural enzymes in your mouth can cause the food to putrefy in your mouth and cause bad breath. This is especially true with meat! Keep some mints handy for the both of you. Mints are better than gum because they will dissolve where gum will stay around and may get in the way of your first kiss! Now that you have clean teeth and breath, let's talk about the kissing technique.
Keep Your Lips In Shape!
Do you want to kiss someone with dry, cracked and or raw lips? Well neither does she! So keep your lips in good shape. Keep some chapstick, Carmex or another lip conditioner with you at all times and keep your lips soft and smooth. Don't pick or pull your skin on your lips, it will only make it worse!
Kissing Technique 101
Let's assume that this is the first kiss and if it is not the first kiss, pretend that it is the first kiss as I mentioned above and it will help bring some new excitement to an existing relationship, try it and see!
So first off go slow and don't rush things. When the time is right, slowly go in for the kiss and be very gentle, with only slightly parted lips. Most women complain that either the guys are too tight-lipped or too wide lipped and slobber all over them. So you need to have just slightly parted lips. Then gently press or cushion your lips on hers. When you put your lips on hers they will fit better if you straddle either her top or bottom lip between your lips. Kiss her long and slow, and then if she responds follow her lead and kiss her again. Each time savor the experience and vary where your lips land from her top lip to her bottom lip or on both lips...
As you continue you can part your lips more and gently start to bring just the tip of your tongue into play. Now if she has started sticking her tongue into your mouth, then that is a strong signal for you to do the same, but still, go slowly and don't stick it in all the way, go slow in a teasing manner.... Once you get to this point of passionate French Kissing, there are endless variations and techniques you can use. I will give you a few below.
When you are kissing passionately with your tongues involved you can:
1. Run your tongue around hers and intertwine your tongue with hers.
2. Play the follow me game: Touch her tongue, then quickly bring your tongue back into your mouth and see if she follows you?
3. Suck on her tongue! or Suck on her lower lip! GENTLY PLEASE!!!
4. Flick the tip of her tongue with your tongue the same way that you would her clitoris if you were performing oral sex on her. This technique will give her the message that you would be good at oral sex!
5. Lick the edges of the inside of her lips with the tip of your tongue.
Those should get you going and for your homework, come up with variations of your own.
Now that you have been passionately kissing you may be heading toward passionate lovemaking. So let's take this kissing into the realm of foreplay and oral sex!
Oral Foreplay 101
Now that you have been kissing and she is responding just rip off her panties and dive right between her legs and move your tongue at warp speed. NOT! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WOMEN COMPLAIN ABOUT! So many men are guilty of this! I mean most men would love it if you were making out with a girl and she just dropped to her knees whipped out your cock and started to suck you off right then and there! BUT SHE IS NOT A GUY! Women want to be seduced and teased. Even men that like to go down on women are guilty of this! 0 to pussy in 5.2 seconds! C'mon, guys, this is not a race it is a seduction, a tease and an event that you want to make last as long as possible!
So what you want to do is to tease her and then please her. Keep in the back of your mind "tease her" every time you make love to a woman. When you tease her, you build sexual anticipation and increase her arousal. You want to drive her mad with desire. You don’t even want to touch her pussy (as you read my newsletters you will notice that sometimes I use the word "vagina" and other times the word "pussy", it all depends on my mood. I have also found that most women refer to their genitals as pussy as well, I hope I do not offend anyone, but I say what I feel at the time.) Until she is dripping wet!!! So let's tease her now!
Moving into foreplay Step By Step
Note: As you read this I want you to imagine yourself doing this to a lover, real or imagined, so that the techniques become part of you and will flow effortlessly from you when you are with a partner. If you don't have a partner at this time, imagine it over and over again so that the techniques will become second nature.
As you are kissing her mouth you also want to kiss her on other places on her face too. (See Figure 1.) Kiss her, cheekbones, her chin, all over her lips kissing and sucking as you go ( don't suck on her face, only her lips, as most women don’t like the skin on there face sucked on) Also you will notice that I did not include her forehead as this is normally a place where our parents and grandparents kiss us and are normally associated with non-sexual love and at this point, you don’t want to remind her of non-sexual feelings.
Next move over to the area where her jawline neck and ear meet. This is a very sensitive area. Very gently kiss, lick and suck on this area very tenderly and slowly. ( If you say anything to her keep your voice very soft as you are very close to her ear and almost anything you would say in a normal voice would be loud and hurt her ear and possibly kill the mood.)
Now move down her neck very slowly doing that same as you did in step 2. See Figure 2) continue this if she is responsive. Remember that when you make love to a woman you can always ask a woman "Does this feel good?" That way you know you are not wasting time. But don't overdo it with the asking.
At this point, you should move along the path in Figure 3 or a similar one. As you go along the path kiss, suck and lick. Move around the edge of the breast first kissing lightly then licking and finally gently sucking (don't suck hard enough to leave a hickey or bruise). Cover the entire breast but don’t touch the nipple yet. Move-in a circular motion moving closer and closer each time around.
When you get just at the edge of the nipple use one of the techniques below (You can use them in the order listed below or in any order you choose, but "The Warm Breath" should be done first.
The Warm Breath: Before you actually touch the nipple, use your warmest breath on her nipple, but don’t actually touch her.
The Swirling Tongue: Swirl you’re the tip of your tongue around the very edge of the areola of the nipple each time getting closer and closer to the tip of the nipple. Start slow and go faster if you desire. You can do this as long as she is enjoying it. But don’t it so long that she gets bored with the sensation. Switch techniques after a minute or two.
The Tongue Flick: Flick the tip of her now erect nipple back and forth with the tip of your tongue. Start slow and go faster if you desire. You can do this as long as she is enjoying it. But don’t do it so long that she gets bored with the sensation. Switch and alternate techniques.
The Suck: Slowly take the nipple into your mouth and gently suck it and knead it with your tongue, lips, and mouth. Press the nipple between your tongue and the roof of your mouth.
The Suck & Flick: Do they suck as outlined above, then when the nipple is in your mouth flick it back and forth and up and down with your tongue. Start slowly and go faster if you desire. You can do this as long as she is enjoying it. But don’t it so long that she gets bored with the sensation. Switch techniques after a minute or two.
The Nibble: Nibble very, very gently on her nipple with your teeth. If you have any jagged edges on your teeth you should skip this one. You only want to knead the nipple with your teeth very gently. This should only be done for 30 seconds at most. (A good way to practice this one is to put a grape on your mouth and play with it with your teeth and nibble it without breaking the skin of the grape)
The Big Suck: This time when you suck the nipple into your mouth suck as much of the surrounding breast into your mouth as well and gently suck and knead it with your tongue. Push the nipple and breast to the top of your mouth with your tongue like before.
The Cool Breath: Now that her nipple is wet, if you blow on it with a cool stream of air from your mouth it will provide a cool sensation on her nipple do this for 15-30 seconds. After you do this immediately follow up with "The Suck & Flick", your warm mouth will very good to her right after the sensation of the cool breath.
Use the above techniques first on one breast and then the other, one at a time at first and then back and forth. You can even push her nipples together and lick them both at the same time (if her breasts are big enough.) Do all of this for at least 20-30 minutes! She will love you for it. Most men just spend a couple of minutes on a woman’s breasts, kind of like they are passing through on the way down and if you are having a quickie that is ok. But now you are going to show her that you are a man who not only appreciates her breasts but also a man who sees her breasts as a destination rather than somewhere you stop on the way down. You are going to show her you are a man who completely enjoys too and knows how to make love to a woman and fulfill her sexual desires.
Now move down her abdomen slowly and gently kissing, licking and sucking as you go. Follow one of the paths in Figure 4 or a similar one. Circle the navel. You might gently probe inside her navel with your tongue, but very lightly and gently. Some women will enjoy it and others will hate it. If she does not enjoy it stop. And continue with the other areas. You can also cover the entire area as in Figure 4 and spend an extended period of time on her tummy or abdomen. You should spend at least 5-10 minutes. Remember to tease her.
Note 1 : Don't tickle her. If she is too ticklish you make have to skip the area that she finds ticklish. Note 2 : I am including many illustrations because I want to cover even the most basic techniques and ideas so that if you are a person with no sexual experience what so ever you will be able to be a confident lover and know exactly what to do.)
At this point you can go down to her legs or turn her over and go to her back, which will be very nice because most of the time most men skip the back if they have started on the front. If you decide to go to her back, kiss lick and suck all the way around her waist as you turn her over on to her tummy.
When you get to her back, continue in one smooth motion into the pattern or path in Figure 5. Remember to keep the idea of your passion and desire for her in your mind and to keep teasing her as you go with light touches of you lips, then more pressure, then add your tongue, suck and nibble. You can also use light bites that end in a kiss on her back as well. Spend at least 10 minutes on her back.
After her back you will want to move down to her butt and Follow the pattern in Figure 6. First going down one side and back up and then over and down the other side. At this point, you can either start to orally please her from behind or have her turn over. In this scenario, I am going to show you what to do when you have her turn over.
After you turn her over you should still be at her feet. Start now once again. Kissing licking , and using all of the techniques you have learned up until now. If you are into sucking toes now is the time to do it. Suck each toe and nibble on them. ( If her feet are not clean or she has toenail fungus or any open cuts or blisters, I recommend skipping the oral toe play. ) Now start on the top of her foot and work your way up her inner calf as it is much more sensitive than the shin area.
Move up her inner thigh as shown in Figures 7 & 8. Then go up to the very edge of her pussy licking in one long stroke. Then over and down the other side and down her other leg all the way down to the foot, using all of the techniques you have learned so far. (This is going to drive her crazy, because it teases her and builds anticipation and it is rare that once a guy gets to her pussy he almost never leaves. You are teasing the hell out of her and showing her who is in control in this situation.) Now go back up her leg, and all the way back up to the edge of her pussy.
Figure 7 Figure 8
Kiss, lick and suck, the entire area all around to the left and right of her pussy all of the techniques I have taught you so far. Lick below her pussy on her perineum. (the spot right below her pussy and above her anus.) Do this for at least 5 – 10 minutes.
At this point you can also stimulate her anus with your mouth as well if you wish. Many women love this type of oral-anal stimulation. WARNING: Oral – Anal stimulation if not done under the right conditions can have associated health risks as there are bacteria that live in the lower intestine that can cause serious infections in the upper gastrointestinal tract (i.e. your mouth, stomach, small intestine), or your partners vagina. If you intend to practice oral-anal stimulation, there are certain precautions you should follow. A. You should know your partner well and know that she is in good health, and free from STDs, Hepatitis and HIV. B. You should only do oral-anal stimulation when your partner is fresh from the shower and/or has washed thoroughly with soap and hot water. And has not had a bowel movement since she has washed. C. Nothing that penetrates your partner's anus should come into contact with her mouth, your mouth or her vagina. I don’t recommend penetrating her anus with your tongue. If you do penetrate her anus with your finger, make sure that you don’t stimulate her anus orally after that point as when you remove the finger it could bring bacteria and/or feces from inside the rectum outside to the surface of the anus. Also, remember which finger penetrated her so that later you can avoid bringing it into contact with her/your mouth or her vagina. If you follow these precautions you should be safe. But remember if you do practice oral-anal stimulation you do so at your own risk.
Now we move on to what you have been waiting for and what she is now wanting and needing, craving so bad that it is driving her wild. At this point, she should be dripping wet! So now you start to please her by using the techniques below.
Oral Vaginal/Clitoral Stimulation Techniques: In almost all of these techniques your mouth is right on her Vulva (pussy) you almost never have your tongue extended as they do in porno films. Porno Tongue as some people call it is not good sexual technique. It is used for the benefit of the camera and for the viewer of the porno movie (to get good camera angles), not the benefit of the actress. A tongue in a hot warm mouth feels much better than one extended out as far as it will go. Also when your tongue is in your mouth you have much better control, dexterity, and speed (when called for). The one exception is when you are using teasing strokes in the beginning, but then you will move into whole mouth techniques. You will use many of the same techniques you have used above but they are slightly altered so be sure to re-read them below along with the new ones.
Start with the teasing strokes, first and move on to indirect clitoral stimulation, finally move on to direct clitoral stimulation (unless your partner is too sensitive for direct clitoral stimulation.)
The Warm Breath: Before you actually touch her vulva (external vaginal area or pussy), use your warmest breath on the whole area. But don’t actually touch her pussy. Use your softest warmest breath on the external area only. WARNING: NEVER EVER BLOW INTO YOUR PARTNER'S VAGINA! THIS CAN CAUSE AN AIR BUBBLE (Air Embolism) TO ENTER HER BLOODSTREAM AND CAN RESULT IN SERIOUS INJURY AND EVEN DEATH!!!
The Long Teasing Lick: Using the tip of your tongue, lick the just outside her edge of her outer vaginal lips (or labia majora) with long strokes one at a time. Then move inward and lick directly on each lip tracing it up to her clitoral hood. Move inward again and lick between the inner and outer lips (or labia minora and labia majora.) With each stroke lick from the bottom of her pussy to the top and make as long a stroke as possible.
The Ice Cream Lick: Lick her Vulva (Pussy) with a long lick like you would an ice cream cone. Make your tongue as wide as possible and lick from the bottom to the top with long broad strokes. Depending on how adventurous you are you can start your stroke at either the bottom of her pussy, below her pussy at the perineum, or just below her anus (See precautions mentioned earlier about anal stimulation.) And lick her anus, perineum, and entire vulva. If you choose to do it this way start the stroke just below her anus with the tip of your tongue. When you get to the perineum start to widen your tongue and when you get to her vulva your tongue should be almost flat and cover as much of her vulva as possible.
The Tongue Thrust ( a.k.a Tongue Fucking): Thrust your tongue in and out of her vaginal opening. You want to thrust in as far as possible. You can either press your mouth against her vulva and thrust in and out with your tongue. Or stick your tongue out as far as possible and make it is hard or ridged as possible and thrust in and out by moving your head forward and back.
The Alphabet Technique: As comedian Sam Kenneson said "Lick The Alphabet! and do lots of capital T!" Write the letters of the alphabet with your tongue on your partners Vulva. This will add a great variety of strokes and sensation. This is a teasing technique and should be done in the beginning.
The Swirling Tongue: Press your slightly open mouth on her vulva over her clitoris and Swirl you’re the tip of your tongue around the clitoris. Start slow and pay attention to your partner’s movements. After you have been at it for a while you can use your fingers to pull back the clitoral hood and provide even more direct stimulation.
The Tiny Movements Technique: Take the very tip of your tongue and put it directly on her clitoris. And move your tongue very, very slowly in a very small circle, or left to right, up and down (see which one she responds to best.) You are just barely moving your tongue. You can even stop sometimes but just keep your tongue there on her clit and she will start to move for you.
The Tongue Flick: Flick the tip of her clitoris back and forth with the tip of your tongue. Start slow and go faster to see which speed she responds to most favorably. You can do this as long as she is enjoying it. But don’t it so long that she gets bored with the sensation. Switch techniques after a minute or two.
The Suck: Slowly take her clitoris into your mouth and gently suck it and knead it with your tongue, lips and mouth.
The Suck & Flick: Do they suck as outlined above, then when the clitoris is in your mouth flick it back and forth and up and down with your tongue. Start slow and go faster if she responds well. You can do this as long as she is enjoying it. But don’t do it so long that she gets bored with the sensation. Switch techniques after a minute or two.
The Cool Breath: Now that her clitoris and vulva are wet, if you blow on it with a very soft cool stream of air from your mouth it will provide a cool sensation on her clitoris do this for 15 seconds. After you do this immediately follow up with "The Suck & Flick", your warm mouth will very good to her right after the sensation of the cool breath. Use on the external area only. WARNING: NEVER EVER BLOW INTO YOUR PARTNER VAGINA! THIS CAN CAUSE AN AIR BUBBLE (Air Embolism)TO ENTER HER BLOODSTREAM AND CAN RESULT IN SERIOUS INJURY AND EVEN DEATH!!!
General Tips for Orally Pleasing women:
Continue to stimulate your partner using the techniques you have just learned. You can bring your partner to orgasm several times if you desire. Most women may need a short break between orgasms. So after you have given her an orgasm wait 30-90 seconds before you resume stimulation. During this period you can come up for air and kiss her on the lips or stay down between her legs and kiss lick and suck on her inner thighs.
Almost all women that have answered my survey say that their favorite oral technique that they have had done to them is when their lover also stimulates them with his fingers as well at the same time as performs oral sex on them. So if you don’t know the best way to do this read last months
If she starts pushing her pussy against your mouth harder that means she wants more and is in enjoying it. If she pulls away she may be too sensitive or you may be providing too direct stimulation too soon. You can continue to use other techniques or stay with this one. When you find techniques the really drive her wild stick with it! You must learn how to read her movements, her breathing and her sounds.
You can add more direct stimulation to any of the techniques above by pulling the clitoral hood back and stimulating the exposed clitoris directly. You do this by gently pulling back the skin covering her clitoris with your thumb or finger.
Ask your partner what she likes best and how you can bring her the greatest pleasure.
Positions for Orally Pleasing Your Lover:
So far I have assumed you that your partner will be on her back with her legs spread and that you will be lying face down between her legs. But I also want to show you a few more positions:
Sitting On Your Face - Facing You
This position allows you with easy access to her clitoris. You can also reach around a massage her buttocks or add vaginal and or G-Spot stimulation from behind with your fingers.
Sitting On Your Face - Facing Away
This position allows you with easy access to her clitoris and to her anus for oral-anal stimulation. You can also reach around a massage her buttocks or add anal stimulation with your fingers.
Between her Legs - Over Your Shoulders
There are many variations to this basic position, but they all have in common your position of being between her legs. And with almost any of those positions where you are between her legs, you can provide great clitoral stimulation, and add vaginal or G-spot stimulation with your fingers.
Her Legs Bent Back To Her Chest
This is a great position to do the "Ice Cream Lick" Technique. As you have very easy access to her perineum and anus if you desire. Also good for the"Tongue Thrusting" technique.
Woman On Knees - You from Behind (The Ass Lovers Delight!)
This position and the variation where the woman is standing and bending over are favorites among Ass Men. You get a full view of her beautiful ass and pussy and provide oral stimulation of all kinds to her clitoris and/or anus as well as add stimulation with your hand, a great technique is to stimulate her clitoris with your thumb while your fingers stimulate her G-spot, and you stimulate her anus with your mouth and tongue!
69 So Fine! Mutual Oral Stimulation!
This is many people's favorite position! In this position, you can do all of the same techniques as if she was in a sitting on your face position, and at the same time receive great pleasure from her! Many couples use this as a substitute for intercourse for one reason or another.
Have fun ... lots and lots of fun ....